Relationships During The Pandemic
It’s safe to say that even the most introverted among us are spending way more time in the company of ourselves. We’re reflecting, potentially revising old stories, and ultimately hatching into a new way of thinking that’s still quite malleable. We take one step forward, one step back. We undergo feelings of loss, happiness, guilt, shame, gratitude, confusion (ET CETERA) and simply try to feel our way through some weird ass times.
In this brand new series Unfiltered, The Dandy asks three talented women the same exact questions to highlight one specific relatable topic—something we likely all have a strong opinion on or story about. For our first edition, we spoke with (from top to counter-clockwise) Fashion model and entrepreneur Hanno Riak, Yoga instructor Josie Schweitzer and artist Sarah Thibault about the evolution of their relationships with themselves and others over the past few months. These women highlight the highs and lows of reflection; relationships shifts with their significant others; the trials of dating in covid; and learning more about the power of being set free from old habits. Thank you to these three vulnerable, beautiful and intelligent women for sharing their thoughts—we appreciate you so much!
HANNO RIAK, Model and entrepreneur
Photo Credit: JC Jones Photography
These past few months have led to deep self-exploration for most of us. How has your relationship with yourself evolved over the past few months?
During the past few months, I’ve been working from home and unfortunately caught Covid. Throughout my time, I’ve struggled dealing with working as well as trying to recover. My employer took advantage of all the hard work and love I put into my job and would not provide me the necessary quarantine time to recover. So for weeks, I’ve been tossing and turning while deciding to chase a paycheck or take the once in a lifetime opportunity to chase my dreams. The day my quarantine ended was the day I resigned from my job. It was hard on my relationship, because now only one of us has an income. However, it transformed me into an entrepreneur. I never in a million years imagined not having a job, but because of it I’ve had more time to focus on my modeling and it’s made a huge difference. I feel more confident and for the first time ever, I’ve taken the time I need to take care of myself. I still struggle with stressing about money now and then, but I know that leaving was the best decision I’ve made.
If you're single, have you been dating during Covid? What's that been like? Have you noticed any change in people's communication style or any behaviors that show a shift that feels connected to our country's state of emergency energy? And if you're in a relationship, how has spending a lot more time with your significant other affected your relationship?
All this time to myself has made me take a closer look at my relationship. Orin and I are often really busy and our schedules never align, so it’s hard to spend time together. Now that I’m home, it’s helped me get a better idea of what I need to work on in our relationship. We’ve gotten better at communicating and more importantly expressing our stressors and how we go about dealing with them in such a refined space. We recently went on vacation and it was so relaxing. I realized that a lot of outside forces have always had their hand in our relationship; so now that we’re aware of that, it’s created a healthier atmosphere.
We’ve began a workout routine together, are waking up earlier to start our day, and generally being more cautious of what we consume. This quarantine has really opened my eyes to how important it is to be healthy all around. It’s also shined on a light on how mental health in a relationship is a vital thing.
JOSIE SCHWEITZER, Yoga instructor at The Space
These past few months have led to deep self-exploration for most of us. How has your relationship with yourself evolved over the past few months?
I’ve been able to get honest with myself in a new way, but I think we’re always exploring how we can show up and grow, and get to where we want to go. Something I heard recently and have been playing on repeat in my mind is, “Everything comes out in the wash.” Essentially, the truth will eventually reveal itself to us in time. There is no running from it and when you’re forced to be still with yourself, A LOT will come up. For me, I’ve been able to become increasingly more clear as to what I truly want to offer to the world.
It’s been a painful and rewarding process, as growth comes with growing pains. I had to recognize what was no longer moving me in the direction of my truth—and that is not an easy process. It takes showing up every day to what is. Being able to find yourself in the middle of your circumstances and still continue to move forward. I’ve found more grace for myself in the process. I’m putting one foot in front of the other each day, doing the work, and trusting that nothing happens on accident. My teacher Nevin Michaan says “Never waste a good crisis.” We can’t change what isn’t in our control; we can only do what we can with what we have.
If you're single, have you been dating during Covid? What's that been like? Have you noticed any change in people's communication style or any behaviors that show a shift that feels connected to our country's state of emergency energy? And if you're in a relationship, how has spending a lot more time with your significant other affected your relationship?
Being in a relationship with my partner has been powerful, and just like anything else, it’s had ups and downs. Any time we feel under pressure, it’s going to bring out the best and worst in us. To be with someone that can see you on your worst days and still continue to tell you how beautiful you are and offer the shirt off their back to you, it’s telling for the relationship. I think this time has either brought people further apart or closer together. Luckily for me, it’s been the latter. Being in a partnership means that you get to experience life on a different level than if you are single. I’m also a believer in the idea that you need to love yourself first before you can experience love with someone else. When you do have those moments of being in love—in a relationship or single—it’s just you loving yourself in that moment.
SARAH THIBAULT, Artist currently showing at Fahrenheit Madrid and Casa Lu Artist Residency
These past few months have led to deep self-exploration for most of us. How has your relationship with yourself evolved over the past few months?
It has been interesting because as of July 1st, I have been traveling and living as a nomad for a full two years. During that time I have spent a lot of that time away from friends and family, immersed in cultures and languages that are unfamiliar to me. I think these experiences helped prepare me somewhat for the isolation and relative inertia of quarantining.
Plus, traveling solo has also made me more comfortable with confronting my shadow self. I find that it’s increasingly important as our current political climate demands radical change from the inside out. Lately I have been delving deep into how I, as a white woman, can use my privilege to create more equality and justice in the world. One of the questions I am asking is, what does abundance look like if it is available to everyone?
Quarantine has also given me a chance to examine my art practice and how I have created obstacles between myself and my art-making. These obstacles often involve giving too much of my time and energy to others. To counteract this impulse, I am practicing saying no to things that I might have taken on in the past as a way to prioritize my creative process and value my time.
If you're single, have you been dating during Covid? What's that been like? Have you noticed any change in people's communication style or any behaviors that show a shift that feels connected to our country's state of emergency energy? And if you're in a relationship, how has time spent in quarantine affected your relationship with your significant other?
I’m currently single and was starting to go on dates while living in Tepoztlán back in February. I went out a few times with someone right before the pandemic blew up. As soon as it did, I became wary of hanging out with him because he refused to wear a mask, even though his job required him to be around a lot of people. This became a point of contention between us, especially when he said his “good vibes” would protect him from the coronavirus. I think this reaction was based in fear and maybe denial, but ultimately it put the impetus on me to call it off.
I’m now in Mexico City and have only recently since gone online to check out the dating scene, but I think knowing there is a very real health risk to meeting up in person makes me wary of casual encounters.